critical discourse 
Dear Lesbian Life,
I am in my late twenties and have been in a relationship for four years with my boyfriend. We are good friends and share a lovely apartment together. Recently I have moved to new job and I suddenly have a crush with a lady that I work with. Although she is more than 20 years older than me, I think she is the most beautiful, clever, intelligent and elegant lady that I have ever met. And most important, she is so nice to me. I could not believe, just a few weeks working with her, I have deeply fallen love with her.
The love feeling started from one evening drinking. We meet with clients for drinks and that night we almost just chatted ourselves; we had so much to say to each other; we talked about our own lives, preferences, habits etc; completely forgot the clients, the guests, and other colleagues. We’ve only know each other less than a month, but it seem like we’ve known each other for long time. She told me I am beautiful and I know she likes me. We really enjoyed that evening and left the hotel bar together. With the taxi waiting, she hugged me; but I noticed we were holding each others hands at that moment.
I Can't Stop Thinking About HerAfter that evening, I just couldn't stop thinking about her. This week, she is allocated to other projects, and I can't see her often which make me really annoyed. Whenever I pass by her desk, I can feel her eyes are on me. I am very attracted to her: her looks, her personality, her voice... She told me she is going to leave the firm next year summer and she has a grow up son. She said she told her son about me...
I have never had a girl relationship; and I am not sure if she is straight or not. Do you think she feels same as me? She is so nice with me when we are out, but she is very professional at work. I don't know what to do. I feel I can't face to my partner as she is deep in my heart already. I am planning to give her a Christmas card saying wishing her happy Christmas with love.
Would it be appropriate? Can I buy her a present, or would it going to embarrass her?
My biggest concern is that if she doesn't like I am so close to her, it will damage our friendship. Love Stuck Co-worker
Dear Love StuckMy best advice to you is to just relax about all this and slow down. But I don’t want to discount your feelings.
Obviously this woman has stirred something in you and I think it’s good that you figure out what it all means. Is this love or simply a girl crush?
There are a few issues here that really concern me:
You don't know if she is a lesbian
Even if she is a lesbian, you don't know if she's single.
The age difference
Maybe she told her son about you because she wants to fix you up with him!
You're in a relationship with someone And this is the biggie. You work together. You could be setting yourself up for an uncomfortable situation and if you're not careful, sexual harassment charges.
Here is my advice: Don't say you love her in the card. Don't buy her a present unless there is a tradition of everyone at the office buying each other gifts.
There is no need to rush this. Take time to get to know this woman. Saying you are in love is jumping the gun a bit. Right now it is a crush. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Get to know her more outside of work. Ask her to dinner, drinks or to take a walk at lunchtime. As you open up more and talk about past relationships, you will eventually find out if she is single and if she's ever been involved with another woman.
Notice if she reciprocates asking you to do things. This could be an indicator if she has strong feelings back toward you. Here are a few more signs to help determine if she is interested in you.
Focus on Yourself
As you're getting to know this woman, get to know yourself. Therapy might be a really good option for you right now. Figure out if you want to stay in your current relationship or not. Figure out if you are indeed lesbian or bisexual. Is this crush really about this woman, or some need in yourself that is currently unfulfilled?
Take a few deep breaths. This is a lot. You don't need to figure it out before the office Christmas party!
Good luck to you Kathy
I am in my late twenties and have been in a relationship for four years with my boyfriend. We are good friends and share a lovely apartment together. Recently I have moved to new job and I suddenly have a crush with a lady that I work with. Although she is more than 20 years older than me, I think she is the most beautiful, clever, intelligent and elegant lady that I have ever met. And most important, she is so nice to me. I could not believe, just a few weeks working with her, I have deeply fallen love with her.
The love feeling started from one evening drinking. We meet with clients for drinks and that night we almost just chatted ourselves; we had so much to say to each other; we talked about our own lives, preferences, habits etc; completely forgot the clients, the guests, and other colleagues. We’ve only know each other less than a month, but it seem like we’ve known each other for long time. She told me I am beautiful and I know she likes me. We really enjoyed that evening and left the hotel bar together. With the taxi waiting, she hugged me; but I noticed we were holding each others hands at that moment.
I Can't Stop Thinking About HerAfter that evening, I just couldn't stop thinking about her. This week, she is allocated to other projects, and I can't see her often which make me really annoyed. Whenever I pass by her desk, I can feel her eyes are on me. I am very attracted to her: her looks, her personality, her voice... She told me she is going to leave the firm next year summer and she has a grow up son. She said she told her son about me...
I have never had a girl relationship; and I am not sure if she is straight or not. Do you think she feels same as me? She is so nice with me when we are out, but she is very professional at work. I don't know what to do. I feel I can't face to my partner as she is deep in my heart already. I am planning to give her a Christmas card saying wishing her happy Christmas with love.
Would it be appropriate? Can I buy her a present, or would it going to embarrass her?
My biggest concern is that if she doesn't like I am so close to her, it will damage our friendship. Love Stuck Co-worker
Dear Love StuckMy best advice to you is to just relax about all this and slow down. But I don’t want to discount your feelings.
Obviously this woman has stirred something in you and I think it’s good that you figure out what it all means. Is this love or simply a girl crush?
There are a few issues here that really concern me:
You don't know if she is a lesbian
Even if she is a lesbian, you don't know if she's single.
The age difference
Maybe she told her son about you because she wants to fix you up with him!
You're in a relationship with someone And this is the biggie. You work together. You could be setting yourself up for an uncomfortable situation and if you're not careful, sexual harassment charges.
Here is my advice: Don't say you love her in the card. Don't buy her a present unless there is a tradition of everyone at the office buying each other gifts.
There is no need to rush this. Take time to get to know this woman. Saying you are in love is jumping the gun a bit. Right now it is a crush. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Get to know her more outside of work. Ask her to dinner, drinks or to take a walk at lunchtime. As you open up more and talk about past relationships, you will eventually find out if she is single and if she's ever been involved with another woman.
Notice if she reciprocates asking you to do things. This could be an indicator if she has strong feelings back toward you. Here are a few more signs to help determine if she is interested in you.
Focus on Yourself
As you're getting to know this woman, get to know yourself. Therapy might be a really good option for you right now. Figure out if you want to stay in your current relationship or not. Figure out if you are indeed lesbian or bisexual. Is this crush really about this woman, or some need in yourself that is currently unfulfilled?
Take a few deep breaths. This is a lot. You don't need to figure it out before the office Christmas party!
Good luck to you Kathy
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